Looking for a gift for your favorite hockey father who has everything? Here are a few practical, but perhaps not quite so probable, items any dad would be thrilled to find “under the tree” on xmas morning.

• A GPS pre-programmed with every arena, motel and Tim Horton’s from St. John’s to Victoria and north to Iqaluit cuz ya never know where the game may take you.
• An unbreakable composite stick because at $200 a pop there is no more disturbing sound than the snap following an errant slash across the shaft of your kid’s twig.
• A rubber garage door to withstand late night slap-shot practice on the driveway.
• An instant, self-cleaning backyard rink to free up the countless hours spent leveling, erecting, flooding, scraping, shoveling and re-flooding for two-months of functional ice.
• A pre-paid gas card for Dad’s service station of choice – nuff said.
• For hockey fathers turned hockey coaches – The Unabridged Compendium on How to Deal with Hockey Parents Volumes 1-12 (also available as a 10 disk audiobook or iTunes download – please allow 2-3 hours to download)
• The successful return of the Winnipeg Jets to the NHL.  Oh wait, that miracle was already granted despite the best efforts of a certain vampiric little Scrooge.  Would it be pushing our luck to ask for a playoff berth in year one as well?
• The year long rental of a film crew to capture and edit all of the highlights of all the Boy’s games dad missed because he was at another rink with Devil or vice versa.
• Free ice time. Hey…..I said it was a wish list and even the unlikeliest of wishes can be wished for here.
• The Unofficial Guide to Bad Referee Calls detailing how some otherwise unexplainable decisions are made by the men and women we affectionately call “Stripes” as documented by the same – these are their stories.
• A free night for Dad and Mom to do something just for them.  Like going to the local wing joint to enjoy a pound and a pitcher while watching NHL games on 10 different plasma TVs. That sounds awesome right?
• A Gordie Howe hat trick for the Boy and a regular ole hattie for the Devil on the same day, witnessed by Dad, beaming inside with pride in a quiet corner of the rink.
• An unlimited pass to roll back the clock to when they were but fledgling players with sticks acting more as make-shift crutches supporting their wobbly limbs; yet finding the courage to swipe at an oncoming hard rubber disk, only to heroically miss, falling victim to gravity and the cold, hard, frozen surface beneath them.  Then popping enthusiastically back to their starter skates in search of their little black nemesis for a second attempt and rejoicing as they nudge the puck between two mounds of snow fashioned into a make-believe net.

Please do add your own wishes to the list and I’ll see what I can do about passing them along to the hockey gods before the morning of the 25th.  Happy Holidays moms, dads, grandpas, grandmas and all of you who love the game for the game.

#imahockeydad